wedding bells are ringing.

And when I say wedding bells, I actually mean neon lights and techno music. Welcome to the bizarre and eye-opening event called the “Chinese wedding.”

When I found out that Julianne, Kim, and I were invited to our co-worker’s wedding, I was overcome with excitement. I am going to a CHINESE WEDDING, what an awesome cultural experience! The three of us asked around frantically; “What do we wear?” “What do we give for a gift?” We really had no idea what to expect. I knew that the bride would probably be in red.





To my surprise, Chinese brides don’t run out and purchase every possible bridal magazine the day after the proposal. There is no stress in planning; no dwelling on the color of the flowers, the table settings, or bridesmaids dresses. (There actually were no bridesmaids.)

So the wedding process. After finding “the one,” the potential bride and groom ask their fathers to meet. This is the request for marrying the bride. The fathers will meet over a nice lunch or dinner and the families will negotiate terms. If successful, both families would proceed with the next step.

Selecting the Wedding Date—The father’s will choose an appropriate date for the wedding. Of course, the bride may ask her father for a specific month, but ultimately it is up to the men to agree on a date. This is where Bridezilla may appear. All of the planning is done by the bride and groom’s families, while the bride and groom’s responsibility is to find a new house. Living together before the wedding is becoming more and more common here but the percentage is still quite low.

Saturday, January 5, 2008, the three American girls arrived at a brand new hotel in the city of Tongliao not dressed in your usual wedding guest attire. We all wore jeans, boots and a sweater. (This of course is custom, so that you do not take attention away from the bride) however; no offense to the bride, but the three white faces at the wedding were attracting more than a few stares.

I wish I could put into words, my initial reaction upon entering the room. (I hope this does it justice)…It was a large reception hall completely decorated in balloons and streamers- it looked more like my Sweet 16 birthday party. There were over 1,000 people in attendance. I noticed that I erupted into a strong coughing fit as I walked towards my table…this due to the cigarettes being smoked by almost every man in the room. Women sat together, in their jeans, sipping on juice and soda, while the men sat together chain-smoking, playing cards, and binge drinking beer and Chinese spirits. The stench of 1,000 Chinese people, cigarette smoke, beer and baijiu mixed together was nauseating.





As soon as the clock hit 17:30 (5:30pm), the show began. And YES, IT WAS A SHOW. A man dressed in white, the MC, came out with his microphone and with a violinist in the background and with great facial expressions, asked the bride and groom to walk down the aisle. With the traditional, “Here comes the bride,” playing, AND FIREWORKS, the bride and groom walked briskly under a beautiful Heineken bottle and flower archway. (What?!?!?!)




The bride was dressed in a beautiful red wedding gown with red roses cascading down her hair. She looked absolutely stunning. As they arrived to the stage, a bubble maker unleashed thousands of bubbles and the MC, (more like an annoying Ryan Seacrest), continued talking about God knows what. With three cameramen and five photographers surrounding them, the bride and groom exchanged vows in front of the 1,000+ guests and they concluded with “you may hug the bride!” Okay, I don’t know if that’s what the over-smiling MC said, but they hugged. Enough said.









At 18:00 (6pm), the feast began. This is probably the part of the tradition that has been very well kept. In the modern Chinese society, the wedding feast is considered to be very important. To the parents, the wedding feast is a chance for them to return their relative’s kindness and to announce the marriage of their kids. If the wedding feast turns out to be good, then it’s a great thing because they will have ‘face.’ In the Chinese culture, it’s most important to have ‘face’ (respected by others.)

(Look at the camera's following them!)



The feast was definitely a feast. We had over fifteen dishes of the best Chinese food, concluding with several fish dishes, another traditional dish for a wedding. As soon as we began eating, the bride changed dresses (pink!) and began visiting each table. There were at least 100 tables in which both the bride and groom had to visit before dinner ended. Being followed by the paparazzi, they offered a shot of baijiu to each guest at the table and toasted to happiness and good fortune.







And then the clock struck 19:00 (7pm) and we left. It was over. I think the three of us were in a state of shock.
“That’s it?” “Where do we go now?” We kept asking our other co-workers.
“Now the bride and groom will go to their new house and host a party for their family tomorrow morning.”
“Oh,” was our only answer.
We all walked out, now being followed by the cameras who had just realized our presence, a bit confused. It was definitely an experience. I picked up some tips for my wedding…I will not have a bubble maker while I walk down the aisle or a big Heineken bottle holding up the tent.





Tomorrow morning I am leaving for my six week, Chinese New Year, holiday! I can’t wait to escape Inner Mongolia and relax on the beaches of Thailand!!!!!! Here’s a quick itinerary…

Guangzhou, China
Hong Kong
Macau
Bangkok, Thailand
Singapore
Phuket, Thailand
Koh Phangan, Thailand (Island on the east coast!)
Phnom Penh, Cambodia
Siem Reap, Cambodia
Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
Hanoi, Vietnam
Xi’an, China

I’ll try to stop at internet café’s and send little updates. I will be living out of a backpack…ewwww, so wish me luck. (haha) I can’t believe I’ll be gone for six weeks! When I return, be prepared for some great blogs!!!!! Miss you all!

a very chinese christmas and a chopstick-filled new year!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from the People's Republic of China! It was one I will never ever forget!!!

“Shengdan kuai le Shee-Lah!”

“Happy Christmas Teechah!”

“I wish you happy everyday Shee-Lah!”

I have been receiving these types of greetings for the past week. They are always expressed beautifully and wholeheartedly. (Most times they are followed with a burst of laughter and embarrassment because “They spoke to the foreign teacher!!”) But I have enjoyed them from all of my 800+ students.

In China, it is custom to give an apple on Christmas Eve and an orange on Christmas Day. What makes this custom so interesting is the ornate gift wrapping (I’d like to call it torture) the Chinese do to these poor pieces of fruit. During Christmas, the streets are lined with street vendors selling these unique holiday treats and students in particular, purchase these in order to flood their teachers’ desks with rainbow fruit!





My favorite gift however, came from a card that I received from a student I named “Kristin” during the first week of school. She nervously approached me at the end of my Christmas lesson last week with a card in hand. I opened it and smiled magnificently. It read:

“Dear Sheila. Merry Christmas. I am a student of class 17. Maybe you have received lots of apples and oranges, but I think my gift is very special. When you are in trouble, you can think of us. We will support you forever. Best wishes for you. Yours, Kristin.

Christmas in China is similar to Valentine’s Day in the states. It is an over-hyped, commercialized day in which people spend their hard-earned money on obnoxious decorations and over-dressed fruit. A week beforehand, the day is so publicized that one would fear an explosion of Santa Claus statues from every store window. Just like Valentine’s Day, the buildup is so intense that once midnight strikes, it is simply over. Christmas Day does not stop students from going to school or adults from going to work and no one really changes their daily plans. It was simply just another Tuesday, except there were decorations and an abundance of fruit floating around the city.

But we of course are not zhongguoren (Chinese!) We are stocking-hanging, Christmas caroling, Yankee Swap-loving meiguoren (Americans!) So we negotiated two days off and celebrated Christmas Day more like a three-day New Years Eve.

On Christmas Eve, we were invited by the city of Tongliao, to a prominent dinner at the best hotel in the city; The New Century Hotel. We were spoiled to a delicious Chinese and Western dinner (where we used FORKS AND KNIVES!! And I ate all the salad I could stick my beautiful fork into).





This impressive dinner made the seven of us feel like celebrities. Newspaper cameras and television news cameras were constantly flashing, attempting to capture that perfect image of a crazy American “doing something foolish.” What this act would be, we did not know!

So the champagne flowed like the mighty Yangtze River and we then realized why our presence, at the biggest Christmas celebration in the city, was so desired. We were the entertainment. I looked around at the hundreds of guests, the party officials, and the managers of this hotel and read their eyes perfectly. “Look at the Americans, they eat so much. How will they dance?” And another, “Why do they wear such funny clothes and scream when they sing?” (We’re making a CD, it will be out in March).





So the big moment came. The reason why the newspaper and television cameras came on this Christmas Eve, was to watch the now extremely inebriated Americans sing and dance. After about one minute and thirty seconds, it was all over. It was the most pathetic attempt at “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” ever attempted.




Christmas morning was very special…except for the glorious hangover we all were fighting off. I made strawberry and chocolate chip pancakes for everyone while we opened our packages from America. I ripped mine open faster than you can say the word, “NEUROTIC” and dumped all of its contents on the floor. The package had been staring me down for a week already and my mother’s handwriting on the outside didn’t help. It wasn’t the most exciting gift I have ever been given; full of dried fruit, oatmeal, magazines (Brett Favre’s Sportsman of the Year cover!!!!), and more pancake mix…but it’s probably the most happy I’ve ever been to open a gift.




The seven of us then exchanged gifts. I had the most fun with this, because I tailored all of my gifts to meet each person in our group. We all have such distinct personalities. I now know what they all think of me just by the thought in the gifts…I received two pairs of hoop earrings (because I always lose mine), Chinese tea (because I had to give up the coffee obsession), tequila (because apparently Sheila Tequila is a really funny person), a beautiful scarf and American makeup, and a Yankee hat (which was found in China and rests my case that the Yankees are the World’s team). These people know me so well.




When you live in a city of three million people and you are one of twenty foreigners, you make quick friends! On Christmas night, we were invited to the apartment of our friend, Sabi, the Hungarian goose farmer. He served us a great traditional Hungarian meal with even better company. Also present were our friends from South Africa, Cameroon, Ghana, France, Canada, the Philippines, and our great Chinese friend Alex. To say that I spent Christmas night with members of the world was a privilege. I felt so lucky…

New Years Eve…Xin Nian Kuai Le! This is my favorite story.





Since Ian and A.J. left us for the states (they went home for two weeks), the five of us planned to travel to Haerbin, China for New Years. But since we are told EVERYTHING at the last minute, our plans had to change. One day before New Years Eve, we were told that we were to perform in the school’s winter festival show. “Sing and dance to some American music,” our boss told us. “Oh and there’s a dress rehearsal tonight.” (The picture below are REAL performers)




THANKS FOR TELLING US! So the five of us scrambled around for a song that would represent the great west in a fun and appropriate way. We quickly downloaded Tom Petty’s “American Girl” and ran to the auditorium. After handing the music over, it was our turn to do a quick run through. To say it was a disaster is an understatement. Mike knew a whopping THREE words of the song, Kim and Cait were doing a somewhat elegant Macarena and I was staring in awe at Julianne flopping her curly blonde hair all over the stage…until she noticed my shock and screamed “DANCE.” It was more a tragedy than anything else.




When our boss approached us afterwards, he simply said, “You will practice this evening won’t you?” Needless to say, our next seven hours were the hardest we’ve worked here yet. We decided that Mike would sing, lord knows if I sang, I’d sound like Britney LIVE (that’s a scary thought), and we would be his “American Girls” backup dancers. Halfway through, the music broke into Christina Aguilera’s “Dirrty” and then ended with N’Sync’s “Bye Bye Bye.” (Julianne and Cait dancing to Dirrty)




Our 3 minutes and 38 seconds were a blur except for the loud roar that came from the crowd of 500 in attendance. A success it was! I will probably never listen to Tom Petty’s “American Girl” ever again. (Also, Julianne had our performance videotaped and I will put it online as soon as she uploads it! I promise!!!!!)

After the show we were invited to another dinner with the entire faculty and staff. The Chinese custom of “ganbei,” which literally means (gan=dry and bei=cup) was in full force. If someone tells you to “ganbei” it means bottoms-up…no whining. My favorite custom is to travel the tables’ of your friends and propose a toast. It is such a “family oriented” (with a little alcohol problem) affair. There were many toasts to the New Year and to friendship. And, on New Years Eve, everyone was my friend…uhh ohh!!!!

(This picture is with the head school officials.)





They are the big wigs and made me “ganbei” like this was the last New Year ever. I hope you all had a joyous Christmas and a Happy and safe New Year!